The holidays offer a chance to reconnect with friends and family, and give us an excuse to have a little fun around the office with our co-workers, and one of the most common ways we do this is by giving gifts. But we, as humans, also like playing games, so it only makes sense that we would combine these two passions into one this time of year in the form of holiday gift exchanges. And the two most popular kinds of gift exchanges are White Elephant and Secret Santa. But where did these traditions get started, and what kinds of gifts are appropriate for each?
Here's a closer look at these holiday classics as well as some inspiration to ensure your gift exchange is a success.
White Elephant gift exchanges
Legend has it that this party gets its name from the passive-aggressive, gift-giving habits of an ancient king of Thailand. Whenever someone left him displeased, he'd “honor" them with the gift of a white elephant. These animals may have been beautiful, but they were useless and expensive to keep. Today's white elephant parties are a little less mean spirited, but the tradition of gifting something a little “funky" remains.
There are many variations on how the game is played, but the general rules remain the same. Each player brings one present, and everyone participates in a game that determines the order in which the gifts are received. This could be as simple as drawing names from a hat or as elaborate as playing bingo or another party game.
When someone's turn is up, they get to choose a present from the community pile OR decide to steal one from someone else. (It's up to the game host whether you unwrap presents as you receive them or wait until the end.) Sometimes there's a limit on how many times a gift can be stolen, while others prefer to facilitate a free-for-all.
White elephant exchanges work best when gifts range from quirky to quality. Ideally, you want multiple people fighting over a few items and lots of laughs over the weirdest presents. But, above all, no one should take the gift exchange too seriously — it's an opportunity for some lighthearted fun and mischief.
Secret Santa gift exchanges
Most people are familiar with a Secret Santa gift exchange, as it is the more traditional of the two and has been around longer — but in case you haven't heard of it, we went straight to an authority to explain more about it.
“Secret Santa is a way of anonymously giving gifts," says James Cooper, Christmas expert and manager of WhyChristmas.com. More specifically, it involves a group of people writing each of their names on a slip of paper and putting them all into a hat (perhaps, even a Santa hat), and then each participant pulling out a name at random. Then, they buy a present for the person whose name they picked without letting the recipient know who it is from.
Sometimes, small gifts are distributed in the weeks leading up to Christmas, with the grand finale taking place at a Christmas party. The goal is to be sneaky; you don't want anyone identifying you as their gift giver until the big reveal.
But despite how common Secret Santa parties are today, no one really knows how the tradition started.
“It might have begun in Sweden with a custom called 'Julklapp' ('Christmas knock')," Cooper explains. “Several hundred years ago, there was a tradition where you would knock on the door of a friend or neighbor and then leave a small gift (often made from straw or wood) behind on the doorstep. The gift would include a little motto or riddle to help people work out who had left the gift.
"There's also the legend of Saint Nicholas (the original Santa) giving money anonymously to a poor family by dropping coins into a shoe or stocking," Cooper continues. "This means that he was literally the first 'Secret Santa'!"
For those putting on a Secret Santa party, Cooper has some advice.
“Make sure you get something that your gift getter will actually like. You might think that a gag gift will be really funny, but it might not be," he says. "I also recommend setting a monetary limit, so all the presents are of relatively equal value."
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